To The Twin I've Killed Before
by Raixander
Summary: Saga's thoughts when he finds himself wandering around in Asgard. Contains a bit of SoG spoilers. Bromance only.


**Disclaimer:** Saint Seiya belongs to Kurumada and Toei Animation

 **Warning:** Some spoilers from Soul of Gold!

 **Soundtrack:** See You Again by Whiz Khalifa.

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 _A tribute to the brotherhood and sisterhood of Gemini Twins._

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Everything is so clear like it just happened seconds ago.

They say your whole life will be played like a movie in front of you, when your time is about to end.

I can witness that this is true for me, I guess also for all of us. Even when the time is not straight. In fact, the time—for us the gold saints—is an endless loop.

Because I remember _this_.

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 _Running up the thousands of stairs. Marching up trying to beat Sanctuary's Fire Clock. On every step of the way, my soul cried and bleed more. For we all carried a huge task as Sanctuary's traitors: to kill our goddess, Athena._

 _No, not merely killing her. It was more cruel and despicable than that: we had to bleed her to death._

 _That time I sincerely hoped that as the ruler of Sanctuary for over two hundred years, Shion, really knew much more than me. That time, I depended on my hard luck as a fake Kyoko for not knowing the ultimate secret of Athena's blood and her god cloth._

 _Our souIs were too busy crying blood whilst running and trespassing the houses of the zodiac. But that was not all that occupied mine._

 _I was as well full with my own secret, the secret I hid so hard from my comrades donning the surplices. The obedient Death Mask and Aphrodite, the rule-bound Shura, and the calm but unpredictable Camus._

 _They should never know that I was secretly mad at Shion's revival by our supposedly-new god, Hades._

 _Yes, I was utterly disappointed that the Underworld god had revived the old soul of Shion, the last legitimate Kyoko who had been dead for more than a decade…_

… _.but Hades didn't wake you up with me._

 _That damn god only resurrected a half of me and left me walk on the illusion of my new life with only half of a soul. While all I ever wanted with every new life was to have you by my side, dear brother._

 _I wanted to see you again, beloved other half. I always do._

 _Even when I had only a tiny fraction of time to talk and explain myself, it was enough. I was able to convince my comrades and made them following me again after that biggest lie to all time and my grand treachery to our goddess. Shion trusted me. The fallen gold saints trusted me._

 _Convincing people was the talent that we shared best, wasn't it?_

 _So, Kanon dear. If only I was allowed some seconds with you again, I wanted you to believe this without any Demon Emperor Fist involved._

 _.sorry._

 _I am sorry. I always do._

 _And oh, I do miss you dearly._

 _My regret about you even surpasses any regrets on betraying our goddess. You wouldn't have expected it, brother._

 _And you might not want to hear this, little twin. But this was the truth._

 _I actually went back to Cape Sounion weeks later. I was too proud to do it before. I was too coward to admit that there was a grain of truth in your evil arguments. But the punishment had been executed. I sincerely mourned for you when I found the magical cave empty. The damage was done, Kanon. My other half had been hammered by my misjudgment's verdict._

 _I couldn't do anything about it. Unless…..unless I became a legitimate Kyoko._

 _Among the other hundred reasons of wanting to own that giant mask and the power bestowed upon it, was it wrong for me to want it for bringing you back by my side again? It's like a dying thirst to have your soul merge with mine. Perhaps, we were like this once upon our reincarnations?_

 _Did you understand it then, my twin? It wasn't only the Ares side of me who was utterly upset with Shion's decision to take Aiolos as his successor. Wait….you've predicted this, haven't you? You knew that sooner or later I would fall into this cursed path. You had discovered my desire to be the ruler of Sanctuary even before I realized it…or dared to admit it._

 _Despite the mysterious disappearance of the Dagger of Time that had hampered me from opening the banned dimension and stopped me for being the ultimate demigod, I've never stopped trying everything else. For thirteen years, I've worked to the bone, deciphering all the secrets of a Kyoko's power and knowledge, forbidden or not._

 _However, the secret I wanted the most seemed to be the privilege of the gods, for I've never been able to feel the presence of your soul, let alone resurrecting my other-half. I've failed miserably until the day I died in the cradle of our goddess' love, earning her forgiveness after my enormous betrayal._

 _So you must have understood how I felt standing there in front of our Gemini Temple that I always claimed as mine only. Facing your powerful astral projection that was almost as good as mine_ — _considering you were plotted to be the spare Gemini Temple's guardian in secret_ — _I felt so proud of you. Deep down, I've prayed that you would survive Shion's plot to betray Hades and to assist Athena's journey to the Underworld and Elysium. I was hoping that you would forgive me then._

…

 _The look on your face when our goddess Athena ordered you to deliver that box with the golden dagger inside…it was indescribable and yet tearing me apart. Your eyes were as turquoise as mine, only they were full of pity to me. I knew you were sorry for me, little brother. But you averted your eyes when mine were pleading for your forgiveness. Only we both knew what that dagger meant to me. No, not only for killing the baby Athena, you knew it very well dear brother._

 _How ironic that time. I've finally found the missing dagger along with my half-soul in full flesh. But I was dressed in sapuris, forced to catch the lifeless body for our goddess. Athena had sacrificed herself for us the traitors, fulfilling our duty as fake specters and false saints. I had deep sympathy for Camus having to face his best friend Milo as a traitor. But I honestly didn't think that the ice saint bore the same pain with me there. There's nothing like facing a treasured twin you had killed before with your own hands._

 _When our deceitful lives forcibly bestowed by Hades were vanishing into the sunlight, I wished that it was the real Gemini Saint who was holding me there instead of the bronze saint Pegasus Seiya._

 _Did you feel me disappearing into the thin air, Kanon? Did you or did you not forgive me, dear twin?_

…

Afterward, I remember _this._ I remember itas clear as the sunny sky of Cape Sounion that day.

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 _Our goddess called the fallen gold saints back from the land of the dead, granted our soul a brief body to serve her joining our surviving comrades. She, my dearest Kanon, had called me back as her Gemini Saint despite you were doing your duty as one. To redeem my sins once again…to have the honor to stand by my best friend Aiolos, to finally fight for the same goal with Athena's gold saints…. For all that ambitions, I had chosen to obey Athena's wish. I obeyed her to the fullest with the price of my other-half. You, Kanon._

 _So I called our gold cloth._

 _Yet again, I sentenced you to death._

 _Even though I sincerely wanted you to survive the Holy War like Shion previously did._

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 _And you, Kanon! You could have rejected my selfish call. After all, that cloth belonged to you, too. The Gemini Cloth would have obeyed you to stay, had you wished for it._

 _But no._

 _You were always the bravest one since we were young. You were smart. You were slick. You were reckless. You were unpredictable like a hurricane._

 _You answered my call._

 _You obeyed me just like you always did when we were little ones._

 _The Gemini Cloth was crying when I donned it. I knew that meant you were in the grave danger. I convinced it that we had no choice by kept looking at the damned wall and at Aiolos' golden arrow. I kept smiling to the bronze saints, assuring them to continue running chasing Athena and to deliver her the god cloth._

 _Nobody noticed I was crying loud inside, together with the twins on my helmet. Would it be too selfish wanting a glorious death as a noble saint and as a complete soul? Was it too much just hoping be with you in that short life?_

 _Then something unfortunate yet miraculous happened. Shortly before we burned our cosmo to surpass the brightest sunlight, I was granted my desire._

 _Whatever had happened to you before that, I didn't have the time to think about it. I just felt it and I knew._

 _Because…I sensed your soul._

 _You've come to me, dearest brother. In front of the Wailing Wall, your soul embraced me tightly. And then for once, I was a complete man. Back then, we were a whole and proud Gemini Saint._

 _Then we joined our comrades the gold saints. We roared our cosmo until our bodies vanished to dust. Still, I would never forget how it felt to fight and to die in honor with my beloved twin._

 _Together in one body, with our souls entwined as one solid Kintsukuroi._

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I thought that was the end of the resurrection cycles.

Wrong.

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Apparently, only the gods have the last word about it. For I stood once again under the fresh breeze of the Asgardian sky. I was again like before, fresh in flesh and blood…but without my twin in sight.

During my wander in the surprisingly-not-so-frozen land, I've come to term that you were not there. So I was sure that it wasn't Athena who revived us. She couldn't be that cruel, could she?

Whatever. I was secretly in rage. As always.

Discovering the old song of a saint's betrayal when saving Milo from a fire trap, I was in zero sympathy for Camus' pain and hard decision. After all, I was in pain myself. I was too numb to bothered by the Ice Saint's scheming.

Coldly, I left Milo alone with his reckless and stubborn plan for a revenge and/or a rescue. Nothing can slow me down from finding the meaning of our resurrection. And preferably to end it.

But fighting Sigmund had opened my memory about how deep can brotherly love be. It can change people, indeed. So I told Sigmund how adorable his goal was to avenge the fallen brother….and I left that Asgardian warrior alive as my tribute to you. Dear Kanon.

Only because I then realized that your spirit has been with me all along that I could survive many fights before finally facing Andreas.

Now…I can feel the roots of Yggdrasil wrapping me. Its poison slowly enters my beaten body, the one that has been exhausted from burning my cosmo to awake our god cloth and to perform that forbidden attack.

I glance at Andreas' collection of our god cloths. I turn my head to my fallen comrades inside the Yggdrasil.

They say your whole life will be played like a movie in front of you when your time is about to end.

I can witness that this is true for me. Even when my time is an endless loop full with never ending resurrection.

Because I remember _this_.

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I remember praying to be awakened once more just like I was in front of the Wailing Wall. I remember wanting to have your soul embracing me again, Kanon.

I just want to see you again, my beloved twin. Soon.

Soon.

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End file.
